Canada eh!

[ttuuxxx]

Another email I was sent today, enjoy,
Ps these aren't my views,lol

Canada eh!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.

Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learn something about Canada and then enjoy a good chuckle.

Let's face it: Canadians are a rare breed.

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
· Californians shiver uncontrollably.
· Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
· Italian Cars won't start
· Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
· American water freezes
· Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
· New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
· Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
· Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
· Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9° Fahrenheit (-78.5° C)
· Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
· Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
· Ethyl alcohol freezes.
· Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459.67° Fahrenheit (-273.15° C)
· Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
· Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
· Hell freezes over.
· The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

[Pizzasgood]

Do Californians really shiver uncontrollably at 50° F? That isn't what I would call comfortable, but it's not even close to shivering temperature yet. But then I was born and raised an hour's drive southwest of Duluth, Minnesota. So that's actually farther north than the capital of Canada, which I find kind of interesting.

More interesting though is that if I trace the lines of latitude around to Europe, most of Europe is actually farther north than that. I tend to forget how much farther south the US is when I'm not looking at a map. The southern part of the US (where I'm living right now) is actually at about the same latitude as Iraq and the northernmost bit of Africa.

[DaveS]

So Alberta it is then. Only place for a rampant consumer like me. And I ski....

[ttuuxxx]

The coldest I've seen in Canada was -50C with windchill, You get frostbite in about 2 mins. I guess up north It can be as cold as -70C really both are about the same, Just cold eh. But In Sydney the coldest it gets is -1C at night and 14C daytime, Basically I wear shorts year round now, and its so funny to see Australians wearing toques in like 14C weather I think most Canadians would have a laugh at that, lol
ttuuxxx

[sinc]

well i live in florida and 50F is frickin' cold. i'll take 90F with 90% humidity everytime.

[yorkiesnorkie]

The coldest I've seen in Canada was -50C with windchill, You get frostbite in about 2 mins. I guess up north It can be as cold as -70C really both are about the same, Just cold eh. But In Sydney the coldest it gets is -1C at night and 14C daytime, Basically I wear shorts year round now, and its so funny to see Australians wearing toques in like 14C weather I think most Canadians would have a laugh at that, lol
ttuuxxx

Yes we'd find that funny! There's nothing like one of our BBQs on the deck in February at -20C. No, I'm not kidding. Still, how do you folks live down there where everything that crawls is poisonous. I'll take our snow over your spiders and snakes every day.

Yorkiesnorkie

[Caneri]

Well I don't know about cold much as I live in the most southern part of Canada just south of Detroit, Michigan USA.

It gets cold but not bad here...only the odd -20 or -30C with the wind chill...all in all not bad if we don't get a blizzard.

My problem is the heat and humidity in the summer.

When I was a little tyke we had temps at 114F and we were cutting hay in 100% humidity.

Now the problem was, the neighbor farmer had a field of popcorn next to us and it was so hot the popcorn started popping in the field.
What's worse was the cows in our field thought it was snow and they froze to death on the spot.

So it's not so bad the cold or heat...just how you perceive it...Eric

PS

[yorkiesnorkie]

That reminds me of the time Grampy nailed 4 feet of shingles out onto a fog bank it was so thick and heavy.

[davids45]

G'day yorkiesnorkie,
Re our crawling snakes & spiders...it's a bit of a myth. Some spiders can also jump, or drop from trees.
But it's OK - we get plenty of practice swatting with the flies (also known the the Aussie salute).
No mention of the mozzies you lot have?
David S.
Sydney (the bigger one).

[aarf]

mostly you can outrun snakes and spiders. you can't outrun bears and moose.

[aarf]

much more of concern however is that you can't outrun drug addicted crazies exercising their constitutional right to hunt random humans in public with high powered weaponry.

[yorkiesnorkie]

I was wondering if someone would mention the mozzies. They are nothing compared to the nasty old Canadian Blackfly. At least a mosquito has the decency to bite you from outside your clothes and warns you as it buzzes in. Blackflies will silently crawl right in any convenient opening and bite, they are the worst in spring here mostly because they come in swarms large enough to carry you off in the woods. Their bite itches like crazy.

We had an interesting article on Discovery.ca about mosquitos. Apparently someone realized that they actually winter over in protected culverts and other subterannean areas. The concern was/is that they'd pass on bird flu. The temperature in the culverts was above freezing so they can survive the winter.

We also have ticks. Which I really dislike and you have to watch out for when camping. We do have some foreign imports as well, Ugly Giant Orange Slugs and Longhorn Spruce Beetles. Since a lot of things are built from spruce around here I expect things to fall down at any moment.

Yorkiesnorkie

[hogar]

Oh Canada