Classic Microsoft quotes!

Message

disciple · #1 Post by **disciple** » Wed 13 Jul 2011, 10:44

This is mainly to prevent me from posting in the "Classic Puppy quotes" thread every time I get really annoyed with Microsoft, and to make it easy for me to find various information again

Some of the quotes have been copied from that thread.

Microsoft website and forums:

Security: yeah right!

Microsoft wrote:As with all Microsoft technology, street level imagery and Bing maps were designed with security and privacy concerns in mind.

Support / User-friendly: yeah right!

From a long thread of angry Windows users wrote:Well, you can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. However, it would appear you can piss off 100% of the people 100% of the time if you try hard enough.

From a long thread of angry IE users wrote:Every state that still has a death penalty, should replace it with "stare at IE9 with ClearType for 8 hours a day, for the rest of your life".

From the same long thread of angry IE users wrote:EVERY time a NEW IE comes out...there are ALWAYS massive problems...which is why I NEVER switch within the 1st 1-2 years of the new IE.

Even when insisting that a long-running bug is a design feature, people at Microsoft believe it is doing something different from what it really is, and don't seem to be able to read, since it was described accurately:

From a long thread of angry IE users wrote:Support engineer, Steven has stated that "The behavior of Internet Explorer only remembering the very last window closed is by design". I defer to earlier posters here who point out first of all that this is an inaccurate description of IE's behavior (actually IE remembers the last window opened) and others including the OP who accurately explain why the design is annoyingly retrograde and the workarounds are wholly unsatisfactory from a user/customer perspective.

Puppy forum:

user-friendly? yeah right

thane wrote:I don't think Microsoft has done much to make simple, intuitive apps and operating systems that "just work". It's more like they've added layers of complexity to insulate the user from the computer. Windows isn't a car with an automatic transmission (compared to stick-shift Linux). It's a chauffeured limo with smoked glass. The chauffeur likes to argue with you and every now and then runs off and leaves you stranded with no idea where you are.

http://www.murga-linux.com/puppy/viewto ... 180#352180

starhawk wrote:Microsoft: "Oh, that? We put that bug in there to increase our tech support revenue. Give us $30 and spend two hours talking to a numbskull who doesn't know anything that we don't tell him/her -- and if you're the lucky one today, we'll actually solve your problem for you."

Proof MS Office 2007 is an anti-productivity suite

Windows 7 rant

"Cleartype" rant

User-friendly/just works/reliable? Yeah right

disciple wrote:"Why is it doing that? Whoever designed this is a moron."
"Why won't this work? It was working five minutes ago and I haven't even done anything since then. I've never had this problem in fifteen years."
"Oh, Microsoft's website has listed that bug ever since they got a website. Restart your computer."
"Why does it look like that? It doesn't look like that on anyone else's computer."
"You're a Word guru. Can you remember where on earth they hide xxx feature these days?"
"Oh, they removed that feature"
"The client just rang up because your file crashes their computer"
"It should be possible to do that on Windows."
"In theory you should be able to do that on Windows, but I'm not keen enough to try myself. It will probably take too much effort."
"My computer broke"
"XXX died"
"This file crashes the program so I need to start all over again"
"What is this?"
"Don't use that - the consensus of the Microsoft MVPs is that it is broken in all versions from Office 95 to Office 2010. It will almost certainly corrupt your document within a couple of days."

disciple wrote:
Believe me, there is no incentive to correct non-fatal, lingering bugs.
The "tooltips hidden behind the taskbar" bug was invented when Microsoft first built a taskbar for Windows, way back in 1993 or so. There were (temporary) third-party fixes, but Microsoft's "solution" was "reboot Windows" and the bug was still around until they decided the taskbar was too user friendly and built a rubbish new one for Windows 7... 15 years later.

EDIT I've recently seen reports that Microsoft actually did reimplement this bug when they built the rubbish new taskbar /EDIT

RetroTechGuy wrote:I just remember that old Micro$oft slogan: What do you want to reinstall today...

Signatures

Need a laugh? Remember "Better than Vista" (Windows 7)

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Linus_Torvalds:

Linux Torvalds wrote:Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.

Linux Torvalds wrote:A computer is like air conditioning: it becomes useless when you open Windows.

mickee · #2 Post by **mickee** » Wed 13 Jul 2011, 20:23

"You'll never need more than 64K of memory"
--Bill Gates (circa 1985)

disciple · #3 Post by **disciple** » Thu 21 Jul 2011, 05:02

I got a good one today:

http://wer.microsoft.com/responses/Response.aspx/1485/en-us/5.1.2600.2.00010100.3.0?SGD=2f1b85ed-bbc8-4e47-8443-ced96dcd9edf wrote:This problem occurred because Microsoft Internet Explorer, which was created by Microsoft Corporation, was slow or unresponsive.

This type of problem occurs when a program is slow or has stopped responding and you choose to shut it down. This is also referred to as an application hang. Most of the time, there's nothing you could have done to prevent this type of error, but there are some troubleshooting steps you can try.

Troubleshooting
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's hard to determine exactly what causes Internet Explorer to stop responding,

Perhaps the fact that it was created by Microsoft, as mentioned above?

but it's usually due to one of the following reasons:

Yeah right

Didn't they just say most of the time there's nothing I could have done to prevent the error?

Spyware, adware, or other malicious software. If you have downloaded free software from the Internet, you might have inadvertently downloaded spyware with it. Spyware is software that can display advertisements (such as pop-up ads), collect information about you, or change settings on your computer, usually without your permission.
Internet Explorer add-ons: Add-ons are software that add features or tools (an Internet toolbar for example) to Internet Explorer.
Computer viruses: If your computer has a virus, the virus can cause Internet Explorer to stop responding.

puppyluvr · #4 Post by **puppyluvr** » Thu 21 Jul 2011, 05:34

“There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft.

WindUpToy · #5 Post by **WindUpToy** » Thu 21 Jul 2011, 21:50

This problem occurred because Microsoft Internet Explorer, which was created by Microsoft Corporation

They couldn't lie straight in bed!

Exploder was created by FTP Software and based on NCSCA Mosaic, the forerunner to Netscape, which already had market dominance.

As MS is abhorrent of paying royalties to anybody, they leased it for a year before buying the company and closing it down.

disciple · #6 Post by **disciple** » Fri 22 Jul 2011, 05:46

http://social.technet.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/w7itproui/thread/a44e74a1-20cd-4924-8f2b-3e6b688f1ad7 wrote:Windows 7 - making simple tasks deceptively complicated again.

6 steps to do what took 1 in XP. That's an UPGRADE... change you can believe in!

disciple · #7 Post by **disciple** » Sun 24 Jul 2011, 10:11

More about the anti-productivity suite, from an "MVP" "obsessed with all things excel":

http://peltiertech.com/WordPress/format-all-series-the-same/ wrote:However, in Excel 2007, the ... functionality has been eviscerated... This is one of the productivity-sapping changes I have discussed in the past.

disciple · #8 Post by **disciple** » Fri 16 Sep 2011, 10:20

Today I created a text file which I can't "Save as" in Notepad:

Common Dialog error (0x3002)

!@#$#@!

Windows is so useless you can't even depend on Notepad to work reliably.
How many years have they been shipping Notepad for?

EDIT
Oh, I see. In my case this is due to "we (MS) don't like filenames without an "extension", so we will support them some of the time, the rest of the time failing, usually silently, but sometimes with a meaningless error message."
I don't think this was the problem with most of the pages I saw when I googled the error though...

disciple · #9 Post by **disciple** » Tue 27 Sep 2011, 03:37

http://anarchic-order.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-net-was-young.html wrote:Microsoft?!?! People STILL use Microsoft software?!?!?

starhawk · #10 Post by **starhawk** » Tue 27 Sep 2011, 05:42

Wow, I love being quoted

makes me happy, lol.

That said, I do believe the best thing to do with Windows, is, well, throw it out of one

Seriously, they don't know how to code for crap and apparently they're either paid too little or too much (depending on the person) to give a **** about how useful their product is.

Of course, they still basically own the world. As in: what happens if Mr. Gates decides to tell the US Gov't, "I'm sorry, but I don't like you anymore, and I will not have you as our customers, anymore, either." OH S*** SON

faifpuhp · #11 Post by **faifpuhp** » Tue 27 Sep 2011, 06:51

starhawk wrote:they don't know how to code for crap

They know exactly how to code for crap: setup code sweatshops and don't let users examine the code or have it fixed.

disciple · #12 Post by **disciple** » Mon 19 Dec 2011, 05:39

A signature I saw on the Arch forum:

The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

puppyluvr · #13 Post by **puppyluvr** » Mon 19 Dec 2011, 06:08

Hello,
LOL I like that one..

I still like:
"A computer is like air conditioning,
it is useless once you open the Windows"

Adagio · #14 Post by **Adagio** » Mon 19 Dec 2011, 06:41

If you want a diversion go here..

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Windows

disciple · #15 Post by **disciple** » Mon 19 Dec 2011, 10:48

Last week I saw a window in Outlook 2003 where they couldn't even spell "Microsoft".
Too bad I wasn't thinking fast enough to take a screenshot

disciple · #16 Post by **disciple** » Tue 10 Jan 2012, 04:51

I see Microsoft is running an ad campaign targeted at 1998.

The Windows 7 PC.
It's a computer, TV*, and DVD player all in one

*TV tuner required

Groundbreaking stuff

linuxbear · #17 Post by **linuxbear** » Tue 10 Jan 2012, 20:31

disciple wrote:I see Microsoft is running an ad campaign targeted at 1998.
The Windows 7 PC.
It's a computer, TV*, and DVD player all in one

*TV tuner required
Groundbreaking stuff

...if there is any difficulty with any of this functionality, please do a search on microsoft and DRM

disciple · #18 Post by **disciple** » Fri 17 Feb 2012, 02:15

http://www.murga-linux.com/puppy/viewto ... 021#605021

Lobster wrote:Fear is the path to the Dark Side (aka Windows).
Fear leads to anger (see Windows},
anger leads to hate (see Windows);
hate leads to suffering (did I mention Windows too much already?)
. . . some of us have been down that path and we know where it leads . . .

I just noticed it is almost impossible to find this thread. Does the forum search ignore the "Truly off topic conversations", even when you specify to search in that section? Or is the search malfunctioning? Or have we been cracked

tlchost · #19 Post by **tlchost** » Fri 17 Feb 2012, 02:20

disciple wrote: I just noticed it is almost impossible to find this thread. Does the forum search ignore the "Truly off topic conversations", even when you specify to search in that section? Or is the search malfunctioning? Or have we been cracked

Enter classic AND Microsoft in the search box. More time reading instructions works wonders.

disciple · #20 Post by **disciple** » Fri 17 Feb 2012, 04:49

Funnily enough I already know how to use the search.
It wasn't showing up for some reason. In the end I followed the link in the "classic Puppy quotes" thread.

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